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This article was guest written by Rose from Security Systems Compare…
Fifty-seven percent of teens have made a new friend online (source). Often, the very reason kids spend time online is to meet new people. But it’s also true that as a parent you should be as leery of new online friends as you are of offline friends, if not more so.
Online grooming is essentially master manipulation. Predators carefully select and mold their victims. The most important step you can take to protect your children from predators is to empower and educate them. You cannot monitor online activity 24/7, nor can you control their every move. There will always be ways for the outside world to sneak onto your child’s screen.
One of my dear friends has a little boy who is obsessed with Minecraft. He is allowed to play on Xbox but not on Xbox Live. He is allowed to play on the iPad but the device is locked down with full parental control. He is allowed to google for Minecraft tips but only after he passed an internet safety quiz. She did everything right or so she thought… All it took was one simple, highly rated Minecraft plugin and she unknowingly provided access for her son to chat with strangers online. Sitting next to him on the couch one night she saw words flying across the screen that no little boy should be subjected to. This particular story ends without harm but the point is that there is no fool proof plan for keeping your kids safe. Most parents are aware of the dangers that lurk online but few know what to look for, and even fewer know how to react if their child is lured by an online predator. How can we protect our kids?
WHAT TO LOOK FOR:
1. CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR
If your child’s behavior is changing for the worse that is always a sign that you should be more astute than usual. A behavioral change can be a sign of many issues, but you can narrow it down to online origins if your child becomes increasingly secretive about online behavior; such as minimizing chat windows or browsers when you come around, or suddenly needing more privacy during their online hours. Also, it’s likely your child will act like any other person that has something to hide – guarded and secretive.
2. GIFTS
It may seem obvious but if your child shows up with gifts from a “friend”, consider it a huge red flag and a potential clue that something is not right.
3. STRANGE PHONE CALLS
If your child starts receiving phone calls from men you don’t know, or you see long distance calls to unrecognized numbers, consider this another sign that something might be wrong.
Experts also warn that if your family starts receiving phone calls from people you don’t recognize, the problem could be serious. The predator may have found out your information on his own and might be using this knowledge to intimate or threaten your child.
FIGHTING BACK:
1. TALK TO YOUR KIDS
Fighting back should start before there is even a problem.
Talk to your kids about online safety. Be open and honest about your intentions. Talk to them about online predators and what the behavior might look like. Also set clear boundaries in regards to what you feel is, and is not, acceptable online behavior.
Your boundaries don’t have to be creatively Pinterest worthy. Keep it simple. Remind your kids not to give out personal information online (i.e. address, favorite hangouts, school he or she attends, class schedule, locations of after school activities, etc.), talk to them about posting photographs, and make a zero tolerance policy for meeting online friends alone. Also, set an example. It may seem harmless to post a beach vacation picture of your family enjoying the sun, but by doing so you are saying that it’s okay to post swimsuit photos online. Is it really okay with you? What if it happens when it’s not on your terms?
2. LEARN THE LINGO
One way to set yourself up to be able to successfully recognize red flags is to learn to talk the talk. For example, you may know what LOL means. Maybe you even know what BRB means, but do you know what IWSN means or HND? It’ll make you blush. IWSN stands for “I want sex now” and HND means “Horizontal Naked Dance.”
When it comes to internet lingo, your kids will assume you’re clueless. I remember running around the house cussing in German as a teenager because my mom was clueless. I was wrong. She grew up in a Dutch-Amish town and she was hip to my game. You need to be hip to your kid’s game too. The good news? You have google to help you. The bad news? You may not want to use the word hip, I don’t think kids say that anymore.
3. KEEP AN OPEN DOOR
Your children should understand that they can bring concerns to you, and you need to foster a relationship that encourages them to do just that. There are plenty of tips online that will help you get the conversation started with your kids, but my personal favorite is to listen without reacting. Older kids don’t want you to offer your solution to every problem. Sometimes kids want to talk. Period.
My second favorite piece of advice is to be an active listener. This starts when your kids are young. Going back to my friend, she gets VERY tired of talking about Minecraft mods, creepers, and Enderman but she listens because she knows that today’s Ender Dragon might be next year’s major dilemma.
4. TRUST YOUR GUT
Trust your gut instinct and then act on it. Your child might get mad if you tell them they can no longer be “friends” with someone they’ve met online, but don’t let that stop you; this is YOUR child. You might have to be the bad guy in order to be the good guy.
AUTHOR BIO:
Rose is the co-founder of SecurityGem, a site dedicated to providing news and information to keep people safe including reviews of home security and home automation systems. She contributes to Security Systems Compare with content that is based upon her experience in the home security and home automation field. To learn more about Rose and Security Systems Compare, and for sources to this article, please visit their website.
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