During a recent phone conversation with good friend Eric Rosoff, founder and Executive Manager of Campus Safety Group, we began chatting about how often we get asked this question: at what age should tweens carry cell phones? Eric spent 31 years as a police officer before retiring as a Lieutenant, and refocusing his career on safety education and training. He’s also a father, so the alarming rate at which children and tweens are now owning cell phones is not lost on him in the slightest. He added this personal anecdote:
“A couple of days ago I was picking up my 11 year old daughter from her elementary school. Three of her classmates emerged from the building and each quickly went to their backpacks pulling out I-6’s as though they were reconnecting with the world after being stranded on an island with no reception.”
Eric and I generally see eye-to-eye on issues of safety, and this matter is no different. Oftentimes, the safest way to exist in the world happens to be inconvenient and un-trendy, which leads most people to forgo basic precautions altogether.
My own personal opinion is that the greatest challenge self-defense and safety experts face is to educate people about the safest ways to exist, but to also offer solutions that marry convenience, practicality, and social considerations. Idealism often leads to inaction, so from my standpoint, I’d rather people find safety practices that they will actually utilize consistently, even if it means that they are not being as safe as they possibly could be.
Eric summed it up perfectly:
“I understand family dynamics come into play when making a decision like this. We have friends whose circumstances force them to rely on a patchwork of family and friends to arrange for drop-offs and pick-ups from school and the multitudes of other activities their kids may be involved in at this age. For them, a cell phone is part of their plan to assure communications if something breaks down. But we also have friends who appear to have simply acquiesced to the status brought by their child having something others don’t.”
Basic Considerations
Here are the basic considerations that need to be made when deciding whether a child is ready for a cell phone:
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Can your child respect time and usage limits?
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Is your child mature enough to understand why there are certain social media and internet safety rules in place?
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Will your child respect those social media and internet safety rules?
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Is your child responsible enough to handle an expensive device?
Essential Considerations
Many parents, however, don’t consider the physical safety implications of a child owning a cell phone. The truth is, cell phones can make us more “ideal” targets when it comes to street crime. Here’s how:
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Experts agree that “environmental and situational awareness” is the primary factor in safety, regardless of age. Cell phones are widely acknowledged as the primary distraction in today’s culture.
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Cell phones are the number one target of street crime in the US and abroad. Criminals generally target victims that are distracted and appear to be easily intimidated and/or physical unable to protect themselves from attack (think: children on phones!).
Simply displaying a modern cell phone can place your child at risk of attack. Will they understand that, or will they be more likely to show off for their friends?
There isn’t any one “right” age at which kids can safely own cell phones, and there certainly are benefits to giving kids the means with which to contact you or emergency personnel quickly and easily. That being said, it’s important that you understand the true risks that comes with giving a child a phone.
Eric’s top recommendation: purchase a transitional phone…
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“I recommend parents consider one of the many transitional phones currently on the market. Although not trendy, these phones allow access to pre-programmed numbers for outgoing or incoming calls. Most have GPS capability (you can find the phone) but very limited or no additional features. Additionally, transitional phones are much less likely to be targeted for theft. On the other hand, your kid might not be as cool as other kids…your choice.”
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Examples of transitional cell phones: Firefly, Jitterbug5, Just5, LG Migo
Here are my top recommended safety actions for parents to take:
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Talk to your kids about the ways in which cell phones can be a safety hazard.
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Create a rule that cell phones (and other devices) need to be put away when outside and in public.
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Be a good role model by following the rule yourself, and staying off your phone in public. The behavior you model for your children is more influential than any conversation can ever be.
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Talk to your kids about how important it is that they give up their phone if an adult stranger ever threatens them for it or tries to take it. I bring this up in almost every kids class I teach, and children are always very skeptical that giving it up is the correct thing to do because of how expensive it is. The number one reason kids give for why they should try to keep possession of it, even if threatened, is that they would get in trouble with their parents if they “lost” their phone. Explain the difference between losing it and making the correct decision when their safety is on the line.
Conclusions:
Whatever decision you make as a parent as to when your child is ready to have a phone is really a personal one. Simply buying your child a phone and unleashing them into the world with it, puts your child in unnecessary danger. Taking the time to educate yourself and your child about how to stay safe while in possession of a phone is the most essential piece of the puzzle.
*Please note that there are other important things to consider that are beyond the scope of this article, such as geo-tracking, cyberbullying, and dangerous social media platforms. Be A Kids Hero is a resource I highly recommend.*
Photo Credit: Carissa Rogers
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