If you’re a single person today, chances are that you’re actively participating in, or thinking about joining, the world of online dating. Online dating websites and apps have become the main mode of operation for individuals looking to find a future partner. But as the practice of joining dating sites becomes even more commonplace, account holders have veered towards a dramatic shift in comfort level with this technology, pushing safety to the back of their minds.
Many users seem to have thrown caution to the wind, trusting the process simply because of its popularity. While the majority of individuals online are well meaning people looking for a date, dating sites and apps allow those with more nefarious motives easy access to potential targets. It is not at all necessary to avoid online dating altogether, but following my top online dating safety tips will help you navigate the dating scene in a safer, more protected way.
1) Protect Yourself
The big rule of thumb here is to keep your private information private. It is incredibly easy for someone to find out a lot about you with just a few key pieces of knowledge.
- Use a fake profile name
- Go general with where you live (i.e. NYC vs. Upper East Side)
- Use a unique profile picture that cannot be found anywhere else online
- Keep social media accounts private, not public
- Avoid posting location-specific information online (i.e. check-ins and geo-locations)
- Think twice before posting information or photos online that suggest wealth (i.e. flashy jewelry, clothing, bags, cars, vacations, etc.)
2) Do Your Research
Taking a few minutes to do your research on someone you’re interested in is unbelievably important.
- If you’re thinking about meeting them in person, it’s essential that you speak to them on the phone first and listen for things that don’t add up (i.e. discrepancies in profile or accent)
- Ask for the person’s first and last name (although it can be a legitimate safety choice if they don’t want to give their last name, and not necessarily a red flag)
- Look the person up online and check their social media accounts
- Perform a reverse image search on their profile picture. A reverse image search (RIS) will “crawl” the internet for the image, locating any websites or social media accounts where this picture has been used before. Many untrustworthy online dating account holders “catfish” people by using someone else’s profile picture. If the person you’re interested in dating says his name is Bob and he lives in NYC, but you find the same profile picture on the Facebook account of Mike who lives in LA, that’s an enormous red flag. Here’s how to perform a RIS:
- Depending on your browser, right click on the image and choose “search google for this image” or…
- Right click the image and choose “save image as,” then save it to your desktop (or you can screenshot it as well), then go to images.google.com and simply drag the photo into the search box
3) Meet Safely
This online dating safety tip might be the most important one of all. Limiting the opportunity you give someone to easily target you is essential to your personal safety and wellbeing.
- Always meet in a public, well-lit, well-populated place
- Choose a neutral location in a neighborhood that’s not yours
- Avoid telling them home address details such as, “Oh, I live right around the corner!”
- Drive or walk yourself to the date and home from the date
- Consider bringing a friend with you to the initial meeting. You can always send your friend home after you’ve met the person and feel comfortable with them. Or, you can have them sit across the room unannounced and just text them or signal to them when you feel comfortable enough for them to leave.
4) Notify a Trusted Friend
Even if you have a friend accompany you to the first date (or chaperone, unannounced, from a distance), it’s a smart idea to gather as much information as you have on your date ahead of time and email it to a trusted friend or family member.
- Include as much information as you have on your date: name, profile name, profile pic, phone number, where they work, where they hang out, etc.
- Let your friend know where you’ll be meeting this person, at what time, and designate a “check-in” time when you’ll text or call to let your friend know that you got home safely.
5) Listen to Your Gut
Our gut instinct is truly one of the most valuable safety tools we possess. Even if you can’t place your finger on a weird feeling, or general uneasiness, it’s important that you take notice of any such sensations and respect them. If something doesn’t feel right, pull the plug on the date immediately. Our gut instincts are almost always correct!
Online dating can be a great way to meet people, and hopefully a future partner. By following these straightforward, practical safety tips, you can help protect yourself from the few individuals who use these website and apps for all the wrong reasons.
Be safe and be well!
Photo Credit: ilouque, Found Blur Motion
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